Doubt

How often have you asserted something “without a doubt”? But stop and think for a moment – to be truly without a doubt, one of two things must be true.  Either, you have absolutely every single fact required, and have eliminated all possibility of challenge, alternatives, or error.  OR, you have chosen to ignore any possibility of challenge, alternatives, or error.

In all but the simplest decisions, the first is highly unlikely, and the second is impossibly arrogant.

A real leader knows that doubt is inevitable, and in fact necessary. It is doubt that will drive a real leader to explore the alternatives and counter-arguments, and to be prepared for them.  It is doubt that will impel the real leader to step into other people’s shoes and see things from multiple perspectives.  It is self-doubt that guards against hubris, and ensure a life-long commitment to personal improvement.

Let our leaders have a little more doubt, please.

Confidence In The Face of Redundancy or Career Crisis

For most people, being made redundant or facing a career crisis gives their confidence a battering. I know that the first time I heard that my job was at risk, I almost went into meltdown, asking myself “Will I ever be able to get another job? What skills have I got? Who will want me once they know I’ve been rejected?”  Of course, these self-doubts are the death-knell to confidence, and they can start a real downward spiral. We begin to believe what we say to ourselves.

Interestingly, the word confidence literally means “with faith” or “with trust”. This faith or trust comes in two directions – firstly you need to have faith or trust in yourself. So what can you tell yourself that will build this faith and trust? Can you remind yourself of all the successes you’ve achieved? The projects that you’ve delivered? The teams that you’ve built up?

Secondly, you need to earn the faith or trust of others. People around you are more likely to display confidence in you when you are showing confidence in yourself. So the period of initial self-doubt is a very bad time to be out searching for your next role or project. You will be projecting a very pale version of yourself, and subliminally sending out messages of doubt.  In return, prospective employers or partners will doubt whether they will want to work with you.

One of the most useful exercises that I undertook when I was really struggling to see my own self-worth, was to ask people around me what they valued in me.  I contacted a range of people including colleagues, friends and family, and explained that I was in the process of evaluating my next step in my career, and asked them if they could jot down a few points on what they most valued about me.

The results were overwhelming, and enlightening.  Firstly, every single person I contacted took the time to reply, which was in itself a big boost to my faith in myself. And the responses which came back were illuminating, surprising, funny, emotional and insightful. Many people commented on attributes which I had never even thought of as strengths, which helped me to look at myself differently and in a new, positive light. Other people picked up on attibutes which I didn’t even know I possessed, which stimulated me to think about areas of myself which are hidden to me, but visible to others (the old Johari Window exercise comes in useful here.) One or two people helpfully included their observations on my weaknesses as well as my strengths, which was wince-making, but honest and balanced. All of them expressed their 100% support for what I was doing, and were glad to have been of help.

Who can you reach out to in this way?